Happy Birthday to Me!

Okay, so tomorrow is the big day -- and without revealing how many years I've been celebrating the day I first greeted this world -- I'll just say that I am inching towards that "middle age" category. I've come to the realization that we really don't know as much as we think we do about life, people, and the challenges and sweet victories we face every day. Rather, life becomes more of a mystery and things aren't so black and white, or even gray, but are instead every shade of color imaginable. Life isn't fair and there is no gigantic scoreboard keeping a tally of our fuck-ups or our accomplishments, with a final score or grade on that day that we decide to leave this world. There is no master plan. There is no right or wrong path. Life is full of choices and we make those choices based on our own desires, wants, hopes and dreams. Sometimes they are choices that bring joy and happiness to others as well as ourselves, and other times the choices we make bring disappointment, regret, embarassment, and sadness. I hope that with age, comes wisdom...but I don't really believe that either. I think that we do learn from the choices we make, but those choices aren't necessarily good or bad. It is all about the consequences of those choices we make that get everyone worked up and in a tizzy. I've learned to enjoy the simple pleasures in my life -- the feeling I get when I pet my dog, the smell of freshly brewed coffee in the morning, a beautiful, clear, warm, sunny day, the sand beneath my feet and the ocean on my skin, catching that perfect photo opportunity, the sound of my mother's voice, the touch of my husband's hand on my back -- these are the things I would miss if I were to never be able to experience them again. My friends have become more and more important to me, and its the old friends from childhood I seem to be reconnecting with. They also bring me joy and comfort. What will this next year of my life bring? Choices and Consequence -- I assume. After all, that's really all life is made of and hopefully, along the way, we get to taste the sweetness and beauty of those things around us that make us smile.